Chapter 3 – Ghost
Ariel
Tony’s shout is wordless and full of joy as he barrels across the room towards me. I reach for him, tripping over my own feet, gasping for breath and trying to blink through the tears that flood my eyes –
Tony.
Tony!
I gasp his name, reaching for him, desperate to pull him into my arms – to grab him –
But just as I throw my body against his chest I stumble forward, completely off balance because there was nothing thereto catch me. Crying in earnest now, I throw my hands out to counter my weight and forward motion, snapping my head around, looking for him –
Because where the hell –
“Ari!” he says, laughing with delight. I spin, my eyes going wide to see him standing behind me. What – what the hell!?
I sniff hard, trying to see, hiccupping hard against my tears – how did I miss him!? He’s right there. I throw myself forward again, my arms wide, sure to catch him this time. But just as I get close – as I tighten my arms – there’s nothing there but air.
What the – what the fuck!?
I spin again, baffled, worried, sobbing now, my eyes on Tony’s face – precisely the same as it was before we lost him – full of mischief and joy –
“Ari, wait,” he says, grinning at me, his palms flat out to me this time. “You’re –“
But I just bare my teeth at him, pissed off despite my tears, refusing to accept any world in which he’s not in my arms right now –
I lunge for him again, trying speed this time – but again I fall right through. I gasp in shock as Tony bursts out laughing again, louder now, and turns to me.
“Tony!” I shout, agonized, tears continuing to stream down my cheeks. I stand still, not knowing what to do, fastening my eyes on him. “What – what’s happening!?”
“Ariel,” he says, laughing and shaking his head, his eyes full of pity now even as he grins at me. “I’m – I’m not corporeal, all right? Every time you try to touch me you’re just going to fall right through. Save yourself the effort, okay?”
“W-what?” I say, the word barely audible, my breath hitching in my throat, devastated and confused and horrified. My eyes move over him again and I realize that he’s right – he’s fucking translucent –
And all…blue!?
And…sparkly!?
Tony clicks his tongue, shaking his head at me and stepping close. “I’m a ghost, Ari,” he says, gentle. He comes close enough that I should be able to touch him, to feel him. I raise a shaking hand and try to press my fingers – just the tips of him – against his chest. But it’s just…air.
I cry harder now at that – at the impossibility of him.
“Oh heavens, Princess,” Tony murmurs, stepping as close as he can and wrapping his sparkly blue arms around me, even if I can’t feel them. “Come on, don’t cry. This is a good day!”
I just cry harder at that.
Because it’s not. It’s not a good day – it’s a horrible one –
I thought, for a bare moment, that I had him back –
My friend, the one person I owe everything to. And now he tells me that he’s some kind of ghost!? I sob fully, tucking my face against my hands.
“Don’t cry, Ari,” Tony murmurs, his voice shaking just slightly. “Please. You’ll break my heart if you cry.”
But I can’t help it. I sob big snotty wet tears, getting them all over my hands, hope and horror mingling in every atom of my being. Tony murmurs sweet and gentle things, comforting stuff, but I barely hear a word of it as I cry my entire heart out.
Eventually, though, the tears do their job and calm starts to replace my panic. My breathing slows enough that it’s just soft little hitches in my chest and I slide my hands down my face a little, just enough that I can peek over the edges of my fingers. Slowly I raise my eyes, looking up at him.
And that’s when I realize, quite abruptly, that he’s there all of a sudden. That I’m leaning against him! And he’s – he’s holding me close, his arms real around my body! I gasp, my hands falling away from my face.
“Don’t freak out,” Tony murmurs, smirking down at me.
“Are you,” I whisper, pressing my hands flat against his chest, looking at the solid fabric of his uniform in wonder. I mean, it’s blue now instead of black, but it’s real. “Are you…not a ghost?”
“Nah, I’m still a ghost,” he murmurs, shaking his head. “Just…June can give me a body sometimes.”
I look up at him, baffled and kind of appalled. What the hell does Juniper have to do with this?
He grins, that lovely happy smile, all crinkled at the eyes. My heart breaks again because I never, ever thought I’d get to see that smile. I groan, leaning more fully against him. “What’s happening, Tony?”
“We’re hanging out in the Underworld, Ari,” he murmurs, resting his head against my hair. “It’s not so bad down here.”
“But you’re dead,” I whisper, shutting my eyes, letting myself feel the solidity of him, the realness. I mean, he’s not warm, and he doesn’t have a heartbeat but…god, I’ll take what I can get.
“Yeah,” he says with a sigh. “But, I mean, it’s not so bad.”
My eyes fly open and I whip my head up to glare at him.
He laughs again, shaking his head down at me. “It’s not! At least, not like this. Your grandmother the Goddess interceded – I have my mind, I have my wolf. June gave me a body.” He shrugs. “It’s pretty close.”
I frown at him, not quite getting it – and certainly not getting what Juniper has to do with it. But my wolf howls, nudging me, giving me little nips – forcing my mind back to all of the things I wish I could have said to him and didn’t.
Because this is it – the moment everyone dreams of when they lose someone. I actually get to say the things I wish I had said.
Tears again flood my eyes.
“Ariel,” he murmurs, sighing and shaking his head as he does, lifting a hand to cup my cheek. “Don’t.”
“I want to,” I whisper, shaking my head, vehement. “Tony – I – I can’t believe you did that for me –“
“Ariel, please –“
“Tony!” I snap, a growl in my tone as I clench my hand into a fist and pound it into his chest.
“Easy, Princess,” he says, smirking at me. “Do that again and I’m going to start to have a crush on you.”
I snarl, baring my teeth at him, hating that he’s not taking this seriously.
“All right all right,” he says, his smile softer now, truer. He lowers his voice like it’s a secret. “You get two minutes of sentimentality out of me, all right? And don’t tell anyone I let you go there. Use them wisely.”
“Tony, I’m – I can never thank you for what you did. And I can never pay you back.”
His expression changes, grief and sadness taking his features. But somehow I know that it’s not his death he’s sad about – it’s the fact that I’ve been carrying this guilt. And my wolf howls for him – for my friend – who still only cares that I have to live with this memory.
“You shouldn’t have done it,” I whisper, my throat getting tight, staring up at his eyes which are so tragically no longer their pretty shade of grey. “I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry you were put in that situation. I’m so sorry they killed you. That they took you away and we don’t get to live our lives with you anymore.”
“It was my honor, Ari,” Tony says, his voice ringing with pride even as he brings his face close so that only I can hear him. Our little moment, just between us.
“It’s never an honor!” I snarl, hitting him again. “Not to die for someone! Not when we love you so much! We want you alive – nothing is worth losing you!”
He bursts into a grin. “Come on, Ariel. The choice was you or me, and it was an easy choice to make. Tell me you weren’t important. Tell me you didn’t kick some Atalaxian ass after I left.”
My lip trembles at the memory, how haunted I was on the battlefield even as I burned the world to the ground. How his memory was there with us the whole time. “You’re too important, Tony,” I whisper. Refusing to admit that it was worth it even if he is, in some horrible way, right. “You’re too important to lose. I’m not worth it.”
I lay my hand flat on his chest and he covers it with his own.
“You are worth it,” he says, simple and quiet. “I don’t regret it, Ari. You can’t make me regret it. I saved you and got the best thing in my life out of that choice. It was a very good deal.”
He glances over my shoulder for a moment and I frown up at him, confused. What good could have come out of that? But then he returns his eyes to mine.
“It’s finished,” he says, his voice firm, mouth set. “You’ll have to forgive me for it, Ariel. Find some way to do that. Besides, I got this cool new sparkly body. Don’t you like me all in blue? I’m told it’s my color.”
I stare at him for a second, horrified. Then I hit him again, making him burst into laughter, tossing his head back in that way he does when he’s truly entertained.
“I like you alive, Tony, you jackass!”
He returns his gaze to mine, all happy and grinning. And even despite my shock and devastation – I can’t help it. It’s infectious. A smile comes to my mouth too.
“Well, we’re working on that, okay?” He shakes his head at me, letting his eyes move over my face like he’s missed me a great deal and the sight of me is doing him some good.
I go still. “What?”
“Juniper,” he says, lifting his chin to where my sister is apparently somewhere behind me. “She’s kind of…insanely powerful, Ari. And she’s working on the case now. I have full faith in her.”
I wrinkle my nose at him, staring at him like he’s suddenly sprouted six heads. “Wait, you’re putting your faith in Juniper!?”
He laughs again – that lovely, full-throated laugh, sounding just as it did in life. “Yes, Juniper. You’re not giving her enough credit – things have…kind of changed.”
I spin a little, still keeping my hands pressed against his chest, afraid he’ll disappear. I peer over at the bed where Juniper is holding Marigold, laughing and talking with Jackson and Jesse. And suddenly I see it – how much she’s grown, the color in her cheeks, the confidence and happiness in her smile.
Where on earth is my gloomy little sister? Tony is right – she has changed.
But…Juniper? Powerful? Powerful enough to bring Tony back to life!?
Slowly I turn back to my friend, eyes narrowed. “I don’t buy it.”
A smirk lifts the corner of his lips. “You will. Soon.”
I push the thought aside, not wanting to concentrate on Juniper right now. Instead just fully relieved to have my friend back. God, is this real? Am I just hallucinating this? I fix my eyes on Tony’s face as I lean against him, staring up at his face, willing it to be true.
Because if it’s not – if this is just some kind of wonderful dream – I…I might not be able to bear it when I wake up.
“I missed you,” I whisper.
“I believe it,” he says, dry. “Having to hang out with all of those dorks without me?” He grimaces, making me smile.
“Oh, come on, they’re not so bad,” I say, still beaming up at him.
“Yeah, things must have improved the moment you got rid of Grant. Congratulations.”
I grin, laughing a little, surprised and pleased that he knows about that. I guess Juniper has been gossiping in the underworld. But then my face falls and I bite my lip. “Do we get to keep you, Tony? Or…” I hesitate, not knowing how to ask just how dead he is. Or if he could fade away at any moment. My heart clenches with fear.
“We’re working on it, Ari,” Tony murmurs, stroking a fond hand over my hair. “And even if I don’t get a body, I’m getting pretty good at this haunting thing. So, either way, as long as June is around, so am I.”
“Why?”
“I’m tied to her,” he says, shrugging. “Plus, she’s cool.”
I screw my face up in disbelief.
He laughs at me. “She is! Put your faith in your sister, kid. I know I am.”
I just stare up at him, opening my mouth to ask for more details, when a shriek sounds out behind me. I start to turn when suddenly someone grabs my arm.
“You’re pregnant!?”
My eyes go wide as I stare into my little sister’s shocked face.