Chapter 20 – Personal Space
Maryam
When I raise my head again I groan, feeling like my head is full of cotton. I work my tongue in my sticky mouth – desperate for some water –
Like a wish granted, my eyes fall on the bottle of it resting on the pillow next to me. I frown for a second before I grab it, twisting off the top and taking a long sip as I read the note next to it.
Gone to dinner with the Prince because we are fancy. Love you Maymay, you dehydrated psychopath workaholic. Come join us when you wake up.
I smirk, looking at the line of scrawled hearts and stars that follow the words, knowing immediately who wrote it even if it’s unsigned.
Then I sigh and sit up, looking around at my familiar little bed, wondering…how the hell I got here. And then a desperate little frown takes my lips as I realize that there’s only one realistic answer to that question. One I don’t like at all.
I sigh, sitting fully up, taking a minute to gather some of my stuff and heading into the bathroom for a quick, much-needed shower and tooth brushing. But when I’m fresh and clean I pull on new scrubs and my shoes, heading across camp to the mess tent.
As soon as I get inside I see my friends at the same table at which we ate breakfast, sitting with the same annoyingly large forms, everyone just calmly eating soup and crusty bread like everything is fine.
But I only have eyes for one of them as I storm over, my sneakers smacking against the floor. God even my steps sound pissed off.
“Rafe,” I snap, glaring down at him. All conversation at the table stops, all eyes turning to me.
“Did you take me out of the nursing tent and carry me to bed!?”
Rafe looks up at me, his face annoyingly bland and handsome, only a friendly smile on his lips. “Of course not, Maryam,” he says, blissfully innocent. “We already agreed that me picking you up and carrying you without your consent is a huge violation of your autonomy and integrity.”
I narrow my eyes at him, glancing over at Emma and Shannon, confused. Because if Rafe didn’t carry me, then how…
The Prince tilts his head to the side, considering me, his smile widening. “No, I didn’t carry you out.” He points to his blonde friend. “But Will did.”
I gasp and turn my eyes to the big Alpha at Shannon’s side, who just grins and gives me a little wave.
I gape at the blonde. “You didn’t!”
He grimaces and shrugs, clearly disgusting a smile. “Captain’s orders!”
I turn sharply to Rafe, a scoff on my lips.
He doesn’t even look at me, calmly lifting a spoonful of soup to his lips. “Sinclairs love a loophole, Maryam.”
I spin, ready to stride off, wanting be anywhere but here –
But Rafe’s hand flashes out, wrapping lightly around my wrist.
I turn back fully, ready to give him a piece of my mind, but he just smirks and slowly shakes his head at me. “You were more comfortable in the bed, Maryam. And safer.”
“And Rafe tucked you in!” Shannon squeals, her hands balled into fists and tucked against her lips. Her eyes shine with delight.
I gasp, looking down at Rafe, who blushes and drops my wrist. “I so did not.”
I gasp again, louder, at the guilt so obvious all over his face. “Rafe!”
“He just pulled the blankets up over your shoulders,” Will says, grinning at me.
“And tucked them in under your chin,” Em adds, leaning her chin in her palm. I glare at the traitor.
“And gave you the sweetest little forehead kiss,” says Paul, laughing, all eyes on me as I grow redder and redder.
“Oh, you weren’t even there,” Rafe growls, glaring at Paul even as he starts to laugh. And then they’re all laughing. And suddenly I am too, with my hands on my hips, giving into the ridiculousness of it all.
“Oh whatever, Sinclair,” I say, tossing my hair over my shoulder and suddenly deciding that I don’t care, even as my face reddens.
Even if being righteous and enraged is too exhausting right now, I’m not very good at admitting that I was wrong. But I have to admit that Rafe is right – I was more comfortable and whoever carried me did a nice thing. I’m being far too prickly about this.
“I’m getting some soup!” I call over my shoulder, still pretending to be lofty and superior. “Don’t you dare talk about me while I’m gone!”
“You wish, Maymay!” Emma calls after me. I hide my grin, not wanting to give in fully just yet.
When I come back with my soup and a stack of saltine crackers about a mile high, my friends have graciously complied and moved the conversation on to something else. Emma and Shan talk animatedly with Paul and Will about some action movies they missed while enrolled at the Academy, where they have limited access to media, apparently.
And while they’re talking about films I like, I turn to Rafe with a different question on my mind.
“The nurses are doing fine without you,” Rafe murmurs, answering my question before I can get a word out. I blink at him, sitting back in my chair, looking over his smug half-smile as he continues to eat his soup.
“And why do you think I was going to ask about that?”
His smirk deepens incrementally as he glances at me from the corner of his eye. Without a word, he returns to his soup.
“Fine,” I say, lofty, turning to my own bowl. “If you know me so well, I don’t need to ask questions. Proceed to inform me.” I crumple a bunch of crackers into my soup. “You smug-ass wolf.”
He grins, laughing a little. “The patients got to the hospital just fine. A few came in during the day today while you slept, but nothing major. Well, one very broken leg, but your dad handled it.”
I nod, frowning, considering this. “Any kids?”
Rafe turns to me in surprise. “What?”
“Emma noticed it,” I say, raising my chin towards her. “All these women, very few men, not a single child. Not even anyone like…adolescent.”
Rafe sits straighter and goes a little pale, glancing at Emma. He stays silent for a long moment, his mind clearly working through this information. “Shit,” he whispers, turning to me. “Do you have data on that?”
I shrug, even as I narrow my eyes at him, wondering what he knows that I don’t. “Age and gender information will all be in the computer if anyone bothered to enter it after I fell asleep. Why? I mean, why are you having such a strong reaction to this?”
He frowns at me, sitting straighter. “I’m not having a strong reaction.”
I just lean closer so he can better feel the burning wrath of my glare.
Rafe sighs. “Fine,” he says, “bring your…wet cracker mush. I want to talk to your dad about this, I’ll tell you on the way.”
Eager to learn more, I stand, hastily crumbling more crackers into my soup as I do.
“That’s disgusting,” Rafe murmurs, watching me.
”Don’t police on my eating habits, Sinclair!” I say, scooping up my bowl and grabbing my spoon. “Besides, you’re wrong.” I take a big crunchy bite to prove my point.
Rafes face twists with half confusion and half disgust as he moves for the door. I grin around my food, waving to my friends and continuing to eat as I hurry to keep up.
When we get out of the tent, Rafe leads me a few steps away and then glances around to ensure we’re alone. “What do you know about the Community’s whole kid thing?”
“What kid thing?” I ask, speaking around my food.
He stares at me again. “Do you want like, a minute? To finish that?”
“Leave me alone I’m hungry,” I grumble, waving my spoon at him as either encouragement or threat for him to continue. I let him decide which.
Rafe just laughs a little and steps close, voice low. “Like with Marigold, Jackson’s daughter. Do you know anything about how she came to exist?”
I look at him like he’s a little crazy. “You mean beyond the fact that Jackson and Tasha apparently…” I gesture broadly with my spoon, letting him fill in the blanks.
Rafe smirks, folding his arms. “Yeah, it’s more complicated than that. Can I trust you to keep a secret? It’s kind of…personal. Family stuff.”
I stand straight, swallowing my spoonful of soup and crackers, more serious than I’ve been in the past few minutes. “Rafe, I would never tell anyone anything that would hurt Marigold or upset Jackson. I’m not that kind of person.”
He smiles softly at me. “I know. I didn’t mean to imply that I thought you were. Just – it’s quite personal.”
“Well then are you sure you should tell me?” I look him up and down, wondering if true-blue Rafe Sinclair is as upright and moral as everyone always says he is – the perfect, and perfectly dull, Prince Charming.
“Well, you’re in command here,” he says, shrugging. “And if you can keep the personal parts private and want to help people in the Community, it could be useful for you know.”
I consider it for a moment, and then nod, deciding I want in.
Rafe leads me away to the abandoned fire circle and when we’re completely alone proceeds to tell me a story so shocking I forget to eat, even though my mouth hangs open the whole time.
“So,” I whisper after Rafe has been quiet long enough to indicate he’s finished. “You’re not…messing with me? Jackson had no idea how babies were made before this summer, after he’d had sex several times? And…the theory is that he was used as unassuming breeding stock to produce more impressive physical specimens!?”
“Physical specimen, amongst other impressive traits,” he murmurs, staring off into the distance, clearly lost in his thoughts.
I sit straighter. “What kinds kind of other traits?”
Rafe blinks back to the present moment and hesitates.
I growl, my hands tightening around my soup bowl. I kick him on the ankle, hard enough to get his attention but soft enough not to cause real pain.
Rafe laughs and then sighs, shifting his legs out of range so I can’t get him again. “Look,Maryam, I want to tell you -“
My eyes narrow, their favorite position. “Don’t you say but.”
He grins. “But…that is a much longer discussion that we have to get into before your next shift starts. Okay?”
I scowl.
“I promise to tell you,” he says, leaning towards me. “As soon as we have enough time to really…talk through it all.”
My scowl deepens but I see people starting to come out of the mess tent, indicating a change in shifts. “Okay,” I say, nodding. I bite my lip. “Um, I want to get to work, do you want to…”
“Go talk to your dad myself and then come back later and tell you every single detail so you can have your cake and eat it too?”
I give Rafe my very rare widest smile, the one that shows all my teeth. “Yes, please!”
But my smile fades a bit when he grins, blushes, and drops his eyes.
And then I blush too.
And then I kind of freak out and jump to my feet.
“Okay bye! I have to go to work!” I shove my half-empty soup bowl at him and start to stride for the nursing tent.
He bursts out laughing, fumbling to catch the bowl before falls to the ground. “What am I supposed to do with this!?”
”Try it!” I call, waving over my shoulder. “It’s good!” I laugh to myself, kind of hoping he does because it’s just cold sodden gush at this point and that would serve him right for being all – god damn it, all cute. And making me blush.
“Eat something real!” He calls. “A granola bar! Anything!”
“No!”
“Do it for me!”
I blush again, hating it, and don’t answer, thinking angrily that stupid Rafe Sinclair doesn’t get to tell me when to eat.
But I passively grab a power bar off the table at the front of the nursing tent when I step in, forcing my thoughts to other things – my job, the people who need me.
Anything but that stupid boy.
I slip the bar into my pocket for later, ready to get to work.