Chapter 18 – Look But Don’t Touch
Rafe
Don’t look at her ass, don’t look at her ass, I growl to myself inwardly, willing myself to resist as Maryam walks away from the fire, her water bottle clutched tight in her hand.
Come on, Rafe, I say to myself. Don’t be a complete creep.
Do it, my wolf urges – a soft, reverent whisper.
I clench my jaw, shoving him away. Maryam has made it very clear that she is not, at all, interested in my advances – which would probably include me checking her out from afar.
Shannon moves to sit next to me on the log, her footsteps crunching on branches, and in that very tiny moment of distraction…my eyes drop.
As fasten precisely on Maryam’s…fairly perfect ass.
My jaw tightens – god damn it – how is it possible that – even in scrubs –
I force my eyes shut.
“Oh my god,” Shannon says next to me, her voice soft and delighted. “Were you just –“
I groan, my head dropping with shame.
“You totally were!” she gasps, all squeaky with glee. “You were totally looking at Maymay’s butt when she walked away!” She bursts out laughing and I sigh.
I look over at Shannon as she laughs and I can’t help but smile, even if it’s at my expense. She just has a very infectious joy about her that’s hard to resist.
“Shut up,” I mutter, looking to the fire.
“You’re so cuuuuute,” she coos, giving me a little shove on the arm.
I smirk, still staring at the flames. “Maymay?”
“What, surprised Maryam has a pet name?”
“Kind of,” I mumble, picking up a stick and using it to poke at the smoldering log, mostly to have something to do. “She seems very resistant to all things…pet. And cute.”
“Nah, that’s not true,” Shannon says with a happy sigh. “She’s all tender beneath. She’s just…a prickly little hedgehog. But when you get past the spikes she’s just a softie.”
I hum, wondering if I’ll ever get around the spikes.
From the corner of my eye, I see Shannon grin at me, leaning casually back and crossing her legs, coy and cute. “Nice to get a minute alone with you, Rafe.” Her voice drops low, playful.
I stop poking the log and turn to her, amused. “Is this a date, Shannon?”
She wrinkles her nose at me and shakes her head. “Sorry to disappoint, Prince, but you’ve been friend-zoned out of solidarity. Girl code.”
I raise an eyebrow. “Did Maryam ask you to do that?”
She smiles, slow and coy. “She absolutely did not. Does that make you sad?”
I don’t give anything away, which just makes her smile more.
“She’s my best friend, Rafe,” Shannon says, shaking her head and leaning close. “Which makes you all kinds of off-limits. She may not have decided if she wants you, but you’re on hold as far as I or Emma are concerned.”
I nod, taking a deep breath, turning back to the fire. “Good to know.”
“So, are you like, in love with her?”
I freeze for a second before whipping my head back to Shannon. “What!?”
“Are. You. In. Love. With. Her?” Shannon says each word slowly, as if to a child, grinning and clearly enjoying the hell out of herself. She leans forward and clasps her shins as she waits for my answer, all eager tension. I shake my head, thinking it might be better for the world if Shan and Jesse never cross paths. They would be…diabolical.
But something about that connection to my cousin, who is basically my brother, makes me break down a bit. I usually have him to talk to and now he’s not here and…it’s lonelier than I thought it would be. Which is fine – I can handle a bit of loneliness, I –
“Well?” she asks, giving my boot a tap with her shoe, and I realize that I kind of lost myself in my thoughts.
I sigh and turn to her. “Of course I’m not in love with her, Shan,” I murmur, keeping my voice low. “I barely know her. Part of the reason I came on this mission was to try to get to know her. But, obviously, she’s resistant to that. Which is…understandable.”
I mean, I don’t understand it. I don’t really know why Maryam hates me. But…I’m trying to be understanding about it.
“What do you mean you barely know her?” Shan asks. “Didn’t you like, grow up together?”
I shake my head. “Maryam came a few times but…eventually she stopped coming. She didn’t really like us. I haven’t seen her in years.”
“So, that’s really why you came here?” Shan leans closer, studying me. “To get to know her once you figured out the whole mate thing?”
I shrug. “And to help my people. And to protect her,” I give the fire a rather vicious poke. “Which she also hates. And resists. But you guys are very delicate and…I worry.”
“Sounds like you love her.”
I sigh again and turn to Shan, who is looking at me more softly now. She sees the frustration on my face and smiles.
“So,” Shannon says, turning her head a bit to the side, “it’s not like that? It’s not like…you see her, and know she’s your mate, and fall in love?”
I shake my head. “Not like that at all. It’s like…some kind of instinct in you, something you just know is true the moment you see it or smell it. Like…how you know your favorite color is green. You just look at it and even though you know the other colors are all very nice…green’s it. That’s the best one. Except with a mate, it’s…very specific and intense.”
I shrug, thinking that’s not a very good description. But words were never truly my gift.
“Green’s my favorite color too,” Shannon says softly, musing.
I smile a little, liking this girl and sensing that even if she is dedicated to Maryam, Shan’s becoming a friend to me as well.
My wolf gives a happy little growl like he does when he’s content and curls up in a circle in my soul, his nose tucked beneath the end of his tail. I smile, glad he’s at ease now, which he hasn’t been…in days.
“So, if you’re not in love with her,” Shannon says, more musing than interrogative now, “how do you feel about our darling Maymaé?” She says the nickname strangely this time, emphasizing the second syllable to make it exotic – some kind of old inside joke that I don’t understand and desperately want to be in on.
I take a moment to consider. “I like her. I admire her. I want to know more.”
“You like her butt,” Shan whispers, laughing a little and making me grin.
I give the fire another vicious poke as I growl. “Yes, fine,” I mutter. “She has a great ass.”
Shannon bursts out laughing and, to my surprise, throws her arms around me in a hug – or, at least, as far as they go. Shannon is a very small person. She gives me a squeeze and I smile, leaning into her a little.
“Do not tell her I said that.”
“Secret’s safe with me, Prince Sinclair,” she says, giving me a squeeze. “I’m rooting for you, not least because you are rich and if Maryam ends up with you I’m going to get to go on some great vacations.”
I laugh, shaking my head up at her as she stands.
But she smiles at me – a true smile, full of emotion. “Just kidding. I think you’re nice. And she’s worth it, under the prickles so…keep going.”
I nod to Shannon, grateful all of a sudden that she’s here. And not just for Maryam’s sake. For mine too.
“Work to do!” she calls – or sings, really, waving to me as she skips off. “See you soon! Keep us safe! Shoot anyone nasty who comes too close!”
I grin and watch her go, quite pleased to have made a friend.
Maryam
Emma and I bustle around the nursing tent, resetting everything even though it doesn’t need to be reset. Just…getting everything ship-shape and mostly keeping my mind on work rather than…personal stuff. But – fortunately or unfortunately – it doesn’t take long until we’re busy with actual things.
The patients start to come, appearing from the woods like wraiths, at first in a trickle and then in a steady flow that makes my eyes go wide. Before I know it we have…fifty patients here and nearly every bed is full.
Luckily, we’ve been trained for this, and our systems hold even beneath the strain. Also luckily, the vast majority of the cases I see are dirty and scared people as opposed to patients who are truly injured or sick.
“Oh, that’s not so bad,” I say, bending over to look at a cut on the back of a young woman’s hand. “We can patch that right up.”
She looks down at her hand and then at me, sniffing, not saying anything.
I smile at her, doing my best to be encouraging and not pushy as I get my materials together, quickly cleaning and then bandaging her hand as she quietly sips at her water and eats an entire sandwich in four bites. As I finish up, she looks anxiously at the second sandwich which Shannon brought for her.
“You can have that if you’re still hungry,” I murmur, trying not to spook her as I put the finishing touches on her wrap.
She looks back at me with wide eyes. “It’s far too much…”
“It’s not,” I assure her, firm, nodding. “We have plenty, okay? Please eat, if you want it.”
A trembling smile takes the young woman’s lips as she reaches out and takes the sandwich, claiming it but keeping it in her lap for a moment.
I wonder at that for a second and then realize that she’s considering saving it for later. I fight a sigh, not wanting her to feel pitied and instead wanting her to do what’s right for her. “You enjoy that,” I say, trying to be cheerful and encouraging. “And someone will come and talk to you about the next steps, okay?”
She looks up at me with worried eyes.
“But don’t worry,” I say, smiling at her. “There’s nothing to worry about. You’re safe here.”
She just shakes her head at me. “But you’re…not wolf…”
I tilt my head. “Can you really tell that?” She lifts her nose in my direction and I smile when I realize that she’s smelling me. “All right, yeah. I’m human. Does that matter?”
She frowns at me. “You cannot protect me. You’re…weak.” Her lips thin and I grin at the fact that she feels guilty about saying it.
“Yeah, but I’ve got backup,” I say, tilting my head towards the tent entrance. She turns her eyes in that direction, perking up a bit when she sees Rafe standing there – close, as he always seems to be, though his back is towards us.
“Yes,” she whispers, nodding. “An Alpha.” She sighs, contented and apparently assured.
And…well. A bit too admiring for my tastes.
“All right!” I say, doing my best to keep my voice light though the words come out kind of snappy. “Eyes on me!”