Chapter 10 – In Charge
Maryam
“However you want this experience to go, Maryam,” Rafe says, his expression cool as he keeps his eyes fastened, unblinking, on mine. “That’s how it will be.”
I just stare at him, kind of…baffled by the offer.
“You say it and I do it, all right? You’re in charge. You want me to fuck off and leave you alone and never talk to you again? I’ll do it. You want me to tell the guards to never say a goddamn word to Shannon and Emma and the rest of the nurses – hell, the rest of the humans? It’s done.”
My eyes widen as I realize the very real power he’s handing to me right now.
“You want me to get on my knees and grovel for forgiveness –“
I gasp, snapping out of my shock as he starts to lower himself to the ground as he speaks.
“Would you stop that!?” I lash out my arm, backhanding him across the shoulder. Rafe grins and straightens as I sneak a look around the room – some eyes are on us, but most are engaged in their normal conversation. “You’re making a scene!”
“You want me to make a scene? I’ll make a scene –“
“Oh, you stop it,” I say, whipping my eyes back to him, my brows lowering. Rafe’s smile deepens as he realizes that he’s made some progress – that I’m no longer trying to run away. I still for a moment, looking him over, taking in his too-handsome face, his powerful body, the ease with which he takes up space.
Or…no. I tilt my head to the side, taking a moment to consider. Rafe straightens his shoulders, content to let me look, but I realize that it’s not ease that’s lining his body right now. He’s trying to pretend that it is – but there’s a great deal of tension in his muscles right now.
Suddenly I realize that he’s…kind of desperate to get me to agree to this.
“Why do you want me to stay so bad?” My words are low, a whisper.
He takes a moment too before leaning forward. “Because you wantto be here, Maryam. I want to support you while you do…whatever it is you want to do. And, yeah, it’s a priority for me to keep you safe while you do it.” He shrugs. “But if the way I’m acting makes you want to go home and abandon your dreams…that’s the opposite of the role I want to play in your life.”
I exhale long and slow, my shoulders loosening as I think again on how excited I was to volunteer for this program – how eager I still am to do some good for people who really need it.
And he’s right. I really don’t want to go. We have to find some sort of compromise.
“All right,” I whisper.
Rafe’s face breaks into a wide grin that’s so happy it looks almost silly.
I mean, as silly as a face that insanely handsome can get. Seriously, what the hell, he’s got a goofy grin and he still looks like he should be on a magazine cover!? I narrow my eyes, hating him a little for that.
Without thinking I lash my hand out again, giving him another smack on the arm. “And don’t tell anyone about any of the stupid mate stuff, all right?” I go still suddenly, alarmed, looking up into his face. “Wait, you didn’t like…tell anyone, did you?”
He shakes his head. “I didn’t, I promise. And no one who was in the room that day will. But Shannon and Emma…” he glances over his shoulder.
“Yeah, but they won’t tell anyone.” I cross my arms and shake my head, resigning myself to this new reality. “Seriously? You’ll stop teasing me and let me be in charge?”
He turns his face back to me. “Seriously. I promise. Your wish is my command, Maryam. I follow your orders first.” He ducks into a little mock bow. As his shoulder dips I see a flash of white-blonde hair as a newly familiar, very vile girl walks by, laughing with a friend as they move to an empty table.
Anger flares in me as I glare at her. God, Theresa sucks so much. What business does she have, coming to breakfast that cheerful? Abominable.
“And if I tell you to never talk to her?” I ask, my voice low and dry. “Ever again?”
Rafe straightens and frowns at me. I glance pointedly back over his shoulder and he turns, looking. When he turns back a pleased little smirk graces his lips. “Is that what you really want, Maryam?”
I raise my chin. “I don’t know, Rafe. I haven’t decided. But if I’m in charge…”
The smirk spreads into a grin, a bit too cheeky for my liking. “I mean, it would be a shame to end a 5-year friendship simply as a test of my loyalty,” he says, shrugging. “But if that’s what you want, Maryam, I’ll do it.”
I immediately roll my eyes. “Friendship my ass.”
He bursts out laughing, shaking his head at me, but he gives me no more hints about whether my suspicions are right. Something in that laughter sparks something in me, though, and I lean forward towards him, holding his eyes. He pauses, waiting and curious, cocking his head.
And then I snap my teeth at him, hard, just as I saw Theresa do last night.
The sound rings sharp between us. I watch as a shiver runs visibly through Rafe, his eyes flashing, his face falling a bit with shock.
I smirk and turn back to my tray, confused and a bit pleased with his reaction. I mean, I don’t know why I did it, and I don’t know what it means. I just hated it when I saw her do that – so bossy, so…territorial.
But he’s under my command now.
“Shall we go back to the table?” I ask, pretending to be breezy and cool even as my heart pounds.
“Yes ma’am,” Rafe murmurs, his voice humming throaty and low behind me.
“Good!” I lift my tray and start back to where my friends are. Rafe’s footsteps echo behind me and I work very hard to suppress my smile.
After all, this is our business. No one else needs to know.
“Hey!” Shan says, her eyes shining with real happiness when she sees me approach. “I’m so glad you’re back!”
“I got hungry again,” I say, settling easily into my seat and twisting my lips at my now-soggy cereal.
Rafe sits down in his seat next to me and takes a fresh single-serving box of cereal from his tray, reaching over to place it wordlessly next to my bowl. I smile slightly and don’t thank him as I open the box, shaking the fresh flakes over the soggy ones, thinking it will mix out just fine.
“Maryam,” Emma says, her voice low and judgmental. I raise my eyes to hers. “Don’t you think you owe our new friends an apology for your behavior?” She gestures towards Will and Paul, who look at her with surprise and then turn their eyes to me.
I study them for a moment and then casually turn to the Prince at my left.
“Rafe?” I say, perfectly cool, my spoon poised to eat. “Do you think I need to apologize to the boys?”
“Not at all, Maryam,” he murmurs, fighting a smile as he concentrates on buttering some bread. “I think your behavior is, as always, above reproach.”
I sigh happily and turn back to my food.
“Oh, you brat,” Emma says. But then she just laughs at me and turns back to Will and Paul, carrying on the conversation. To my very distinct pleasure, no one brings up mates again.
_ _ _
The rest of the day is pleasantly busy, just how I like it. We nursing students are all shown the large tent at the back of the camp where we’ll be working, which is filled with huge boxes of medical supplies. We get instantly to work, setting up beds and stations, working together to organize everything to our liking.
The work is fresh, interesting, and challenging – and I admit, by the time the tent comes together, my little heart is humming with joy.
“Looks good,” Shan says, looking around with her hands on her hips. “Neat, efficient. I think we’re going to do a lot of good here.”
“I hope so,” I say, smiling as I lean against her, pleased to have my oldest friend by my side.
“Hey, did you guys see what the psych students have set up?” Emma calls, peeking in from the front of the tent and waving to us. Shan and I glance at each other, confirming that neither of us has, and then we rush along after Emma to see.
“Oh!” I say, bursting into a smile when I take in the smaller tent set aside for the consultations that the therapists will be having with our patients. But my eyes move primarily over the much more interesting collection of little fire pits and relaxation areas they’ve created with some carefully hung hammocks and strategically placed logs.
“Yeah, I’ve been talking to them,” Emma says, crossing her arms and grinning as she looks around. “They told me that they wanted to create a space in which these people could actually relax and think about their wants and needs – not so clinical. I think it’s brilliant.”
“Is it not too spread out?” I ask, looking around at the way the seating areas spread throughout the forest that edges the camp. “Will they be safe?”
After all, this location was chosen because it’s close enough to walk to some areas of the Community.
“We can handle it.” I turn towards the now-familiar voice with surprise to see Rafe walking over. “They asked – we told them we think it’s a great idea and we can certainly spread out our guards to patrol this area as well, especially if they agree to only use it during the day.”
“Oh, great!” Shan says, beaming up at him.
I narrow my eyes a little at my friend, thinking she’s gotta get over this whole fan-girl thing soon if I’m going to get through my days without being nauseous the whole time.
Rafe just beams back at her, either not noticing or not minding.
“Sinclair!” We all turn to see my dad striding over, some papers held high in one hand. “Reports are in!”
“Great!” Rafe calls, starting to walk towards my dad.
Driven by impulse and curiosity, I go too, walking fast to keep up with Rafe’s long stride. My father cocks his head as he stops, watching us approach together.
Rafe looks down at me, one eyebrow raised. “You technically don’t have clearance for this, Miss Nasser.”
I blink up at him, innocent and bland. “I do if you say I do, your Highness.”
Rafe smirks at me and doesn’t break stride as he continues walking towards my dad.
Nobody says a word as I arrive at Rafe’s side.